Never Underestimate the Power of an Encounter with a child- Disability or No Disability

It was a cool dreary day up by the “Great Lake”, so I decided to run into the local Target store for a quick purchase and then to the Starbucks counter for a warm yummy treat. While walking up to the line, I shuffled around in my purse trying to locate that Starbucks gift card I just knew I had. I briefly raised my eye gaze as to avoid any collisions with other patrons. My senses were in tune even though I was sifting through every pocket in my purse. I thought I heard some commotion around me, but was apparently lost in my quest. I just knew it was in there. But, where was it? Finally, I plopped my purse up on the counter and searched again. Alas, there it was. Although only having a measly balance of $1.35, it was certainly validation for my indulgence. 

I paid for my hot chai tea latte with skim milk, closed up my wallet and purse, grabbed my packages and proceeded to the “pick up” counter. As I started to turn, I focused in on the sounds coming from the corner of the café. Out of the corner my eye, I realized that those sounds were coming from a girl in a wheelchair. She was an African American girl sitting in a tilt in space wheelchair. She appeared to have spastic cerebral palsy. Her legs were contracted, and her arms were flailing in the air. Her neck was rotated to the left as far as she could get it. As I made eye contact with her, her verbalizations became louder, her arms raised higher and her body became more spastic. Her excitement peaked my curiosity.

I approached the table, and I offered a “hi”. As I got a more direct look, I realized I knew this young lady.  Although her name escaped my caffeine deprived mind, I knew exactly where I knew her from. I introduced myself to all who were sitting at the table, and the caregiver asked the young lady if she knew me and if she could tell me her name. The young lady shook her head excitedly. I briefly explained to the caregivers how I knew this young lady, and I reminisced with the young lady for a few minutes. The one caregiver responded and said, “When she saw you, she kept shouting ‘I love you’, ‘I love you’. That is usually what she says when she sees someone she knows, but we really weren’t sure if she really did know you.”

You see, in 2001, I worked at an extended care facility for disabled children. It was a part time/second job for me. I would come to the facility in the evenings and see these children after dinner. This was by far one of the most difficult jobs I ever had, and certainly not very rewarding due to the lack of “progress” these children made. I worked there only a very short time. The stories behind why these children lived there was heartbreaking.

She was one of the children I directly worked with. I remember her room. It was the first door on the right as I came up the stairs.  She was usually laying in bed or sitting up in her wheelchair. She physically was not able to do anything but just sit there. She would watch people pass by her door, or would be placed in front of the television by the staff. This girl could make eye contact and make sounds, but, she could not communicate. She could not  move voluntarily, and so, it was my job to provide range of motion exercises. I remember how difficult it was at first to keep a one way conversation going for a fifteen minute session. It was a whole lot of small talk about the weather, her braids, her clothes or what was on the t.v. or radio to avoid the otherwise, uncomfortable silence. I am in total amazement that this young lady remembered ME after 10 long years with such a brief interaction!  

Way back then, I was married without children. Little did I know that two years later I would give birth to a premature little boy who would grow up with the label of autism; who would face the challenges of living in a world with a disability; who would not be able to speak a word;and, who would experience prejudice and bullying. Those children I worked with  taught me so much. They taught me how to love ALL children. To really understand the scope of what a child with a disability faces, especially without a family who is physically and emotionally able to take care of them.

So, I leave you with this…

"When your child walks in the room, does your face light up?


Let your face speak what's in your heart..."

by-

Toni Morrison